Monday, 8 September 2014

Review: The Dolls

 The Dolls
Publication Date: September 2nd 2014        
Publisher: Balzer + Bray
~A copy was provided by the publisher in exchange for an honest review~

Eveny Cheval just moved back to Louisiana after spending her childhood in New York with her aunt Bea. Eveny hasn’t seen her hometown since her mother’s suicide fourteen years ago, and her memories couldn’t have prepared her for what she encounters. Because pristine, perfectly manicured Carrefour has a dark side full of intrigue, betrayal, and lies—and Eveny quickly finds herself at the center of it all.

Enter Peregrine Marceau, Chloe St. Pierre, and their group of rich, sexy friends known as the Dolls. From sipping champagne at lunch to hooking up with the hottest boys, Peregrine and Chloe have everything—including an explanation for what’s going on in Carrefour. And Eveny doesn’t trust them one bit.

But after murder strikes and Eveny discovers that everything she believes about herself, her family, and her life is a lie, she must turn to the Dolls for answers. Something’s wrong in paradise, and it’s up to Eveny, Chloe, and Peregrine to save Carrefour and make it right

Ohhhhhhh, there are so many reasons why I absolutely hated The Dolls. And if I didn't want to bash my head against the wall right now this would probably be a less ranty review. I was past rolling my eyes every five minutes after half way through and began wanting to hit it instead. It's one of those books that are just so ridiculous that you either want to laugh or throw it at a wall. Or stab. Stab, stab, stab. It and its characters are so freaking shallow like some YA are, but let's be honest- unfortunately- most YA is shallow. It's why they have pretty covers to make it more appealing. But, there is shallow and the 'drama' of high school. There's 'reality' TV shallow, and then there's The Dolls kind of shallow- where the characters wouldn't be able to swim in the kiddies pool. I just want a good voodoo book, that's all, just a good voodoo story, YA. WHY IS THAT SO HARD? I'm looking at you, This Wicked Game.

The Dolls is supposed to be story with Voodoo, about Voodoo, it was supposed to be about a murder/mystery, when in this little bubble outside of Carrefour called reality, the Voodoo and murder is just a small element of the book. Because, hey, we obviously need 250 pages full of what the precious characters are wearing- and what brand they are. How rich and luxury their lives are, how beauty is the only thing that's important- I mean obviously- how sad and horrible and poor is it that the scholarship kids town is basically the dumps- there's a reason for that. How Caleb looks and how Drew's obviously not dating material because he's a great friend- one you've known for five minutes- and how you trust him- ha. How, wait- how gorgeous Caleb is with his mysterious and brooding looks thrown your way- when he's not ignoring you- and how you can't be together because it's forbidden- for the 3040580348502340 time that's been used in YA- did I mention how Caleb looks?   

It's supposed to be about a town that's not on the map, that has a dark side-which wasn't really dark at all because honestly? When you add Voodoo + dark side = black Voodoo, and okay, dark magic is sometimes viewed as Voodoo anyway, but there's also different rituals/Gods/ingredients that define the intent of Voodoo, which can be used good or bad. So Voodoo is neither good nor bad, and more the practitioners use of it. But when you add Voodoo + The Dolls = Getting all the guys to fall in love with you because come on you're hot- with a little help from a charm- getting your old-but-back-in-town Voodoo sister to help you unlock the gates-and the protection, that, you know, keeps out a tribe of bad guys who want to kill you- so you can let hot frat boys in for a big party. Party hard and then die.
Voodoo's open to interpretation and as much as I didn't like This Wicked Game for other reasons, I did like the way Voodoo was portrayed there. In The Dolls? Not so much.

The whole problem in this book was brought on by the stupid characters. It wouldn't have been so bad if the main character had at least something special about her- because she's supposed to be so fricking special (Spoiler- you're boring and do nothing) or an actual voice. And since its first person, we're in her head. That's where it goes downhill because double standards. Do what you preach. a preacher. And that's about it. That's what annoyed the hell out of me, she thinks, and even says how wrong they're practicing for themselves, to make themselves look better, the way they're manipulating people, but she does the exact same thing and goes along with everything.  No. You don't get to preach that and do the same thing, that's not how this works, Eveny.
The Dolls: Read or Die? Die.

Rating: 1/5