Friday, 8 November 2013

Review: Two Lies and A Spy

Two Lies and A Spy

Publication Date: September 3rd 2013        
Publisher: Simon & Schuster  

Kari plunges into the world of espionage on a mission to save her parents while trying to impress the guy she’s been in love with forever.

When sixteen-year-old Kari’s dad sends her an unexpected text, she and her brother immediately go into hiding. Because when your parents are superspies and your dad declares a Code Black, it can only mean something bad. Very bad.

Kari soon discovers that her parents have been disavowed and declared traitors, and she’s determined to clear their names. Breaking into the Agency seems like a reasonable plan, especially with the help of a team that includes her long-time crush, Luke, as well as her two best friends—an expert hacker with attitude and a master martial artist—and Luke’s popular, vindictive twin sister. Oh, and a new guy, who’s as cute as he is complicated.

Alright folks, I have 12 words for you.
Two Lies and a Spy rates from cutesy to right out ridiculous.

That pretty much sums  it up perfectly, unfortunately.
I was expecting a cross between Alex Rider and Gallagher girls.
What did I get?
A mess, that's what.
It's the cutesy of Spy Kids, and I used to love Sky Kids when I was younger, but the thing is with cutesy, it's alright to watch for 1-2 hours, and though I read Two Lies and a Spy in 3, it was still an hour too long.
I'll take a step back, away from the cutesy and sometimes cringe worthy parts and look at it from a clear point of view.
And it's still damn ridiculous.
Some of the scenes bypass reality all together, I mean, yes, a sixteen year old girl can infiltrate a high protected  Agency , albeit five other people, but, you for real? It wasn't so coincidental that they got through, but really? It's just all kind of ahhhhhhhhhh!
There's also this scene, that happens twice, yes, twice. Oh, and let's not forget the third that was intentional, to do with eating M&M's and then smiling at the oh-so-hot-I-loved-you-forever guy. The one that was on purpose was an experiment, in front of a mirror in a hotel room while Karina and Charlie (her younger brother) are in hiding, to see what it looks like. I can't even.
There's also a few scenes with multiple agents, one in particular, that gets taken out by Kari, yes she knows Karate or Taekwondo (or some other thing, I honestly can't even remember.) but they're supposed to be highly trained operatives.

If they're that stupid, then I really worry about  this fictional USA.
The whole plot was just...loose, and slow, and then all fast at once that didn't have enough build-up to make you even care. There was also too much flapping around and oh-look-at-the-boy scenes that completely lost the plot altogether, because of course, when you're parents are possibly dead and you're on your own with your brother and have agents after you, and not knowing what the hell is going on, you always have time for some internal dialogue on those eyes, that face, and daydream about it.
Let's move onto the characters, which are alright, even Kari, when she's not mooning over Luke, said boy above. Kari's protective, a little naive,  and apparently a plain Jane, who doesn't use makeup because, as were told about a dozen times, she doesn't know how to use it. I wanted to bash my head against the wall. Besides that, she's an easy character,  and relatable, she's insecure as hell, and she has no idea how to act in front of the persons she likes. She's a realistic teenager.
We have her brother, Charlie, a freaking genius and questions everything, and never does things for fun. He was a little annoying, but he grows on you.
Now, the love interest Luke, is boring, and really was a 2D character, there wasn't much there, no character or spark to pick him out of the others, he's just kind of there to be convenient.

However Evan, who likes to wind up Kari, is obnoxious and British, and oh, was such a stereotypical "British" character, or as I like to call it,  act Like Spike syndrome. I'm offended and I'm not even British,  and it sounds like we're being talked down to, as well as the character, by having to explain was 'snog', 'knackered' and some other "British" words. One, really? Two, extremely condescending.
The rest of the characters are kind of cardboard cut-outs, so I'm not even bothering with them.
All, in all, clearly, I was disappointed, I wasn't that entertained but it did have some interesting aspects.
Two Lies and a Spy, lacked an actual solid plot,  and un-cringe worthy scenes, but was a quick and an easy read.

Rating: 2.7/5