Thursday, 20 August 2015

It's all Fun and Games Until Somebody's #NotAskingForIt






Asking For It
Author:
Publication Date: September 3rd 2015
Publisher: Quercus Children's
 ~A copy was provided by the publisher in exchange for an honest review~
FROM THE WINNER OF THE SUNDAY INDEPENDENT NEWCOMER OF THE YEAR AWARD.

It's the beginning of the summer in a small town in Ireland. Emma O'Donovan is eighteen years old, beautiful, happy, confident. One night, there's a party. Everyone is there. All eyes are on Emma.

The next morning, she wakes on the front porch of her house. She can't remember what happened, she doesn't know how she got there. She doesn't know why she's in pain. But everyone else does.

Photographs taken at the party show, in explicit detail, what happened to Emma that night. But sometimes people don't want to believe what is right in front of them, especially when the truth concerns the town's heroes...



Last year, Louise O’Neill’s debut, Only Ever Yours was a much needed book in YA, and I loved Only Ever Yours, it was honest, and It was easily one of my favourite releases from last year, and just easily one of my favourites. Now, Louise O’Neill has written another much needed story that everyone should read. Upon finishing reading Asking For It, I wanted to cry, and hug Louise O’Neill for writing that much needed book and hit a wall. And eat my feelings in gelato, and I honestly don’t know how I’m going to give it justice while talking about it at all, because there are just no words.

--

*This "review" is going to be more of a discussion of what Asking For It represents, more than an actual review. I am and will be ranting discussing the rape in Asking For it, so if that's a trigger for you, I'm forewarning..
  
Emma, in the beginning, in short, is a horrible human being. 

But she’s a product of her parents (seriously don’t get me started on her parents.), she’s a product of society, and she’s a product of a teenage girl in our society. So yes, she’s mean, she’s jealous, she’s envious, she’s bitchy, she’s not a good friend,  she’s fake, she wears ‘slutty’ (and I’m saying ‘slutty’ for a reason.) but at the end of the day, she can’t win. Because if she isn’t one thing, she’s not the other, so she is relatable. But, Asking for It brings up the huge question, because she isn’t a nice person, because she was drunk, because she took drugs, because she was trying to keep up who she’s supposed to be, and she was supposed to be the best, was she asking for it?  Did she deserve it?

It’s a question that a) shouldn’t be asked and B) shouldn’t be answered. But, Asking For It is asking it, and it’s answering it. 

No one deserves to be raped. No one deserves to be degraded. No one asks to be raped. No one asks to be violated. No one asks to be taken advantage of. And with a big percentage of assault is by someone you know, you are not asking for someone to take advantage of your trust. But it’s oh, she asked for it, her clothes, her attitude, she was a tease, she didn’t say no, she didn’t fight, she regretted it in the morning and is claiming rape. And my personal favourite, she’s a slut, so everybody just assumes she took part in it willingly. The most shocking thing about Asking For It (and let’s be honest, there’s a lot of shocking things in here.) was how everyone reacted once Emma reported rape, how officials handled it, how people treated Emma, because the guys who done it were nice guys, good boys, they have status, they are going somewhere, and look at her, ruining their lives. As if they didn’t ruin hers. 

It shouldn’t matter what we wear, how we walk, if we flirt, and yet it does because society tells us it does, because as women, we should know better than all of the above. It’s her fault. It’s always the woman’s fault, isn’t it? If we don’t dress in a way that cover's everything up, if we're confident in our own skin and sexuality, then we’re asking for it. And because it’s our fault, we’re getting taught how to not get raped. 

Asking For It delves into the likes of consent, because Emma didn’t say no. But, before the gang rape, Emma was drunk and she had sex with a guy and she didn’t say no. She didn’t say yes, either, she wasn’t in any state to say or do anything. And then what happened, happened and she didn’t even remember what had happened. But she didn’t say no. She was drunk. She took drugs. She was so out of it that she blacked out and remembered zilch. In that state, she was unable to consent, and not saying no is obviously consent, right? And it’s all her fault, right?

 


Asking For It also delves into the role social/media plays in rape culture and victim blaming. Images taken during that rape, and posted on social media, shared, commented on, over and over, without a trigger warning, how that effects the victim and their family, and like with Emma, how those images, if taken to court (or if they’re taken at all) and your sexual history can be used against you. A rapist is innocent until proven guilty, and as the victim, you have to prove you’re telling the truth.

Asking For It is thought-provoking and it’ll make you question not only your own stance on rape, but the way rape is perceived in different countries, and what you would do in Emma’s position because rape is rape, whether you remember it or not, there’s no justifying it. 

Every once in a while a book comes along that gives you all the feelings. Makes you love It and makes you hate it, makes you cry and makes you angry, makes you think and makes you sad, it’s important because the ending is horribly realistic, it's the most important book you'll read this year, and Asking For It, is that book. It is raw and it is honest and it is blunt and it makes me want to scream. 



Rating: 5/5


      

Comments (12)

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I can't know anything about this one yet either. I can't. I need to go in blind, just like I did with Only Ever Yours. Good news- my copy will be here in like, 2 weeks. And then I will be back, and we will talk about every single thing. Comments for MILES ;) Also, know that I am jealous :D
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1 reply · active 496 weeks ago
Dude, so can't wait until you read it. WE NEED TO TALK.
Wow, this sounds so amazing - awful, and profound, and HONEST - but amazing. We need books and articles and people talking like this because it's important .You don't ask to be raped and it's not your fault. Yet, it's true - they get turned into the bad guy really quick.

-Lauren
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1 reply · active 496 weeks ago
So, so needed, and not just in YA either. Just...everyone should read it. Men, too. Definitely men.
I haven't heard of this author or this book but I now that I have I want to read it. I imagine I will have a hard time relating to the character but the message will be strong and true. Its sad that we live in a societ that teaches dont get raped instead of don't rape. I mean I really think we teach don't rape too but we have to teach the other because of morons out there that think a woman was asking for it. its so stupid. Now there is common sense don't walk down a dark alley in secluded part of town by yourself int he dark. but duh.... It shouldnt matter on our actions or clothes. Its still our body and our right to say no to anyone. Not being able to say no is the same thing as saying no. There has to be consent for sex, not lack of consent mean its all good.

ok done with the rant. I think I need to read this book. it sounds good.
This sounds like a really thought-provoking book, and I'm so glad you enjoyed it. I completely agree with everything you said in your review, and any book that causes such conversation is amazing in my eyes. Of course, this isn't really the type of book I'd go for, but the novel sounds brilliant.
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I haven't heard of this one before, but it does sound like a very important and thought provoking book, and I love those kinds of books. I'll definitely keep an eye out for this on release day!

Great review <3
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It's a really delicate topic and I totally agree with you. With your discussion you made me curious about how the author handled it.
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Oh man, this sounds like a tough read but a necessary one on a topic I'm also passionate about. And wow, I'm having all of the emotions just reading your review so I can't imagine what reading the book will actually be like. I've got to check it out. I remember I was walking with my friend and her brother down the street and a guy was following us and her brother looked down at our outfits which were dresses with leggings and he made a face. I asked him, "What?" and he says "You are basically encouraging him" and I flew off the handle saying how women should be allowed to wear whatever they want without fear.
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YEES! So glad to hear this book is well done!! Though it kills me to hear that that the "ending is horribly realistic" because sometimes society just...urg. It's so ridiculous that rape is portrayed as the victim's fault and that it's their responsibility to stop it.
Great discussion Kirsty.
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This book sounds amazing and I'm so sad that it's reflective of reality right now, I really am (even if it's as good as it is). We just shouldn't be here talking about rape and social media and girls asking for it, but here we are. Sighs. Def going to rec this myself at the end of the week. (Here's mine :http://editingeverything.com/blog/2015/08/26/waiting-on-wednesday-the-devious-dr-jekyll/)
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I just thought you should know that a copy of Only Ever Yours came up on bookmooch and was like YES I NEED THIS IMMEDIATELY! So now even though my library doesn't have a copy (and I'm going to look into whether they use donated books or just sell them when I finish it, because I likely will think it's a book they need to have!) I can now read it! I'm super excited (and wouldn't have known about it if it weren't for you)
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